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14th Apr 2015

I wrote the below words in my journal this morning. On reading back I realised I’d written “we” instead of my usual conversation to myself using “I“.

 

So I thought I’d share. You know, just in case you’re one of the “we“…..

 


 

 

Why do we have to read another blog post, watch another video or take another course?

 

Why do we seek for guidance from others when we know what’s best for ourselves?

What is it in us that searches so externally?

 

Why do we need to know the full picture when the next step is clear?

Why do we put off knowing what we need to action?

 

Fear.

 

Fear of what?

 

Fear of failure. Self-doubt. Fear of criticism. Not being good enough. Fear of judgement. Being made fun of. Fear of missing out. Competition. Fear of success. Of our lives changing.

But what if we were to reframe this?

 

What if, we knew exactly what we needed to do and believed we could do it?

 

What if, we dived right in rather than putting it off?

 

What if, we showed ourselves some love and self-belief?

 

What if, we failed and picked ourselves back up again? Surely we’d be stronger for it.

 

What if, we allowed our voice to speak, allowed our self-expression – and people loved it? Holding it in is only doing us harm, surely that’s more harmful than someone making a critical comment?

What if, we were to play big? To step up? To do the one thing we know we need to do?

 

What if we trusted? In ourselves. In others. In the divine plan. In life.

 

What could happen?

 

Perhaps it might not be perfect or even easy at first. But if we show up for our soul, for our truth, then things could really flow. In ease. In joy.

 

If it doesn’t flow after a while, or it’s too hard, perhaps it’s not our truth after all. But at least we’ve tried. At least we’ve given it a shot and can put it to rest and move to the thing that truly lights us up.

 

What if?

 

Why wait for ‘what if’ when we can find out NOW.

Stop filling the space with needless tasks. Stop making excuses. Stop looking on the outside and sit for a moment in silence.

 

What’s the next step?

 

There’s the clarity…..ah……

 

Make THIS the number one priority.

 

And do it……In faith. In love.

 

xx


moon

 

Have your dreams been vivid lately? And perhaps your energy really low?

 

My dreams have been extremely vivid recently and I’m waking up feeling very sluggish. I believe I’m doing a lot of ‘spiritual work’ while I’m sleeping – my energy is shifting and my body is trying to adjust. That’s why I’m waking so tired, deep healing is happening while asleep.

 

‘The Moon’ tarot card has been popping up in quite a few of my card readings.

 

The Moon represents our dreams, intuition and subconscious. Our subconscious is which is where we find our desires as well as our patterning – all playing our in our dreams.

 

Our subconscious gives us messages while asleep.

 

I’m being woken at around 1am or 2am every morning with vivid dreams, saying to myself “I’ll definitely remember that in the morning” to wake in the morning and not remember anything.

 

I know I should be recording the dreams but I’ve been so weary and tired recently the sleep has seemed more valuable (in hindsight, I can now see this as my ego holding me back).

 

Hence why ‘The Moon’ tarot card keeps popping up, because I’m obviously not listening to the message – I’m asking my guides for help, they’re giving me the message to record my dreams and I’m ignoring them for sleep.

 

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the door sill
Where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.

~ Rumi

 

The Rumi poem above found me today via this video with Dr. Wayne Dyer and Esther Hicks.

 

The message couldn’t get any clearer.  The answers I seek are in my dreams. “The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.”

 

That is, if I’m woken in the middle of the night, grab the notebook on the beside table and scribble the notes down. Read and reflect in the morning.

 

Or first thing on waking, write everything down. It’s in that moment where the veil is thiner and the voices ‘breeze’ in.

 

The secrets and messages we seek, are right there, in our dreams.

 

If you’re asking for guidance, your dreams have your answers. Are you paying attention?

 

I find the important thing with dreams is to remember how you FEEL in the dream. Or if its showing you dreams of your past, think about how you felt at that time or how the people made you feel.

 

Try it: before going to bed tonight, ask a question and record your dreams.

 

 


9th Apr 2015

Déjà vu.

 

I’ve been here before. Opening up, coming out.

 

In 2012, it was starting this blog, coming out of the closet.

 

Now in 2015, it’s coming out of a healing cocoon.

 

And I’ve got to say, I’m even more nervous now than when I first pressed publish on this blog two and a half years ago.

 

I was watching Orange Is The New Black (hilarious show!) last week and in it, one of the prison inmates who was freed from prison committed a crime to be put back into prison again – because it was more comfortable, easy and safe in prison than the outside, real world.

 

I remember thinking, “how silly” until I realised the upset stomach I had been giving Reiki to all evening was because I could relate to the prison inmate.

 

The internal and external walls and barriers I’ve been working so hard to remove are down now and everything feels so open (to the possibilities of so much love and goodness but also if I’m honest with myself, to attack).

 

I’ve become quite attached to my comfortable safety zone – and yet I know deep down that I’ve become so attached that its prolonging the new.

 

There’s a philosophy that what you most desire is also what you most fear. I want to welcome the new into my life, and yet I’m afraid of the change it will bring with it.

 

I feel raw, open, vulnerable – even though that’s exactly been my intention for this past 18 months. Digging deep into healing my heart chakra, opening up and taking the time (with very little distractions) to be with myself.

 

A meditation with my Higher Self revealed to me that my journey has been/is about:

Finding my True Self. 

Freeing my True Self. 

Expressing my True Self. 

However, what I initially thought was a 3 stage linear process is actually an ever evolving one:

 

I’m closest to my true self more than ever yet there’s more to reveal. I’ve freed myself from my old way of being. And now I hope expressing myself will help not only in more of the freeing but also the revealing even more of my true self.

 

I wish I was artistic enough to draw the diagram I see of this, but words will have to do I’m afraid. I hope you get the picture of the intricate web that this transformation process is. Basically, I get the sense that I’ve accomplished quite a bit in what I set out to do (find my true self) but the journey isn’t over. There’s lots more to discover, free, express and share.

 

Where I was 6 months ago:

Deep in personal healing and transformation. Running an Energy Healing and Intuitive Reading business from my bedroom.

 

What I’ve been doing this past 6 months:

Functioning on a practical level with a lot of rest and contemplation time. Letting go of SO much stuff. Basically, from an outwards view looking in, not a lot!

From my point of view – pretty intense and confronting internal work!

 

Where I am now:

Emerging from my healing cocoon (the emerging process ain’t pretty or easy, in fact it hurts on many levels and is taking every ounce of my courage and determination. I’m learning a lot about my subconscious resistance patterns).

Balancing my spiritual practice with a ‘normal’ existence (and absolutely loving the balance).

Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually transformed – I look different, feel different, I’m thinking differently and my energy has changed dramatically.

Feeling called to blog but not restart my business (for now, maybe never – at least in the form it was).

I’ll no doubt explain more in later posts, especially about the resistance part, but for now I just wanted to say hi again.

 

Hi!

 

Me Writing

 

I don’t know where this is going, I just feel called to write here again.

 

The first draft of this post poured from my head after midnight, I couldn’t sleep because it felt like I was being shaken to get up and record the rambling thoughts. Where once I would have rolled over and gone to sleep, I now recognise this for what it is – my joy, my freedom, my light.

 

And the words aren’t going to wait around for ever! That’s the thing with words and ideas, they wait around for a little while, giving you the chance to be their channel. If you don’t show up, they move onto someone else – and rightfully so.

 

My intention for this blog now is to have fun with it – to enjoy it and not push it into something it’s not meant to be.

 

Sharing is my joy. Sharing authentically. Sharing me and my experiences with you.

 

I’ll focus on my joy and I hope you find a little something in this for you: hope, joy, insight, guidance, energy or at the very least – knowing there’s someone else out there who’s going through something similar to you.

 

A kindred spirit. Opening up to wonderful new opportunities and light.

 

Thank You!

 

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who reached out to me on Facebook when I took my first step last week. I was completely bowled over by your love and support. Thank you! I genuinely had no intention of posting on Facebook, the guidance was clear to get on the blog and clear old clutter and energy, take old things down and update my About Page. All in the background (safety zone!). Then just as I was about to go to bed last Sunday the guidance was very clear, put it out there. So I did, and I’m glad I did now, that small act has given me the massive boost I needed.

 

It’s amazing how taking one small step can lead to a massive shift. Even if you don’t know what the outcome is, it’s in acknowledging a step needs to be taken, then the rest can unfold! 

 

A little teeny tiny step can shift a huge energetic block, open a massive door and create an excitingly new opportunity.

 

Well worth a try!

 


8th Sep 2014

  I’m taking a break from the online world and shutting down this blog.   Why?   I need the space and focus to work out who I really am.     The before and after. From darkness to light:   The photo on the left: This was me 7…


4th Aug 2014

  Change. Sweet change.   I’m moving house……again!   It’s been less than a year in my current home and I’m now moving again. Why? Not only have I been guided to move home but my energy is changing and I feel that a change of environment is needed too….


28th Jul 2014

  Anxiety and fear. That’s the state I woke up in this morning. I have two weeks to find a new home and even though my guidance is advising me to relax and breathe, my mind is running riot with fear.   So instead of home searching or starting my…


21st Jul 2014

  My shoulder was playing up several days ago. My shoulder is my trigger. If it aches, then something is out of whack energetically and my shoulder shouts out in pain to get my attention.   Tuning in, I asked my shoulder to reveal the message to me – what…