Change. Sweet change.
I’m moving house……again!
It’s been less than a year in my current home and I’m now moving again. Why? Not only have I been guided to move home but my energy is changing and I feel that a change of environment is needed too.
I shared with you in this slightly different post last week about being guided to stop pushing at closed doors and to walk through the big wide doors that are right in front of my face. This means letting go of a lot of the old that I’ve been clinging on to. First up, is my home. It served me well as a healing space after my long-term relationship break up but having taken the time needed to heal I’m ready to move on now…..in many ways.
Knowing things need to change is the easy part. Actually doing something about it and sticking to it is not so easy.
This past week:
- I’ve learnt that it takes guts to say goodbye, to throw out memories, to open up to new opportunities, to leave the past behind, to forgive myself, to close doors.
- I’m learning not to wait for things to be all neat and tidy, if something needs done, to do it now.
- I’m feeling the emotions releasing from letting go. Sometimes its deep sobbing tears. Other times its deep belly laughs. ‘Deep’ is the word – big changes are ‘deep’. And energy releases in many ways.
- I’ll admit there’s been days where I question what I’m putting myself through. And then my angels remind me that if I want change, well, things need to change (sounds simple and yet not).
- I’m experiencing that I need to get out there and make things happen, even if it means a few bad experiences before the good one joins hands with me (and trust me there have been some bad experiences – which have helped me work out what I certainly don’t want!)
- I’m incredibly thankful for everything. Gratitude and positive thinking clears the pathways for the good to come into my life.
- And I’m hoping and trusting that whatever is in my best interests finds its way to me. Without me pushing or striving. If it’s in alignment with me, it’ll find me.
So yeah, I guess what I’m trying to say is that change may seem terrifying, annoying and messy but it’s certainly a great avenue for growth – when we relax into the life lessons rather than fight them.
Health? Relationship? Job? Family? Friends? Money? Home?
- If you want things to change – things need to change.
- If things aren’t working out – it’s time to let go.
- If things are a struggle – there’s an easier path out there waiting for you.
Give up control. Surrender. Pray for guidance. And then here’s the important part – act on it!
And appreciate, be grateful and thankful for the lessons you learn in the process.
Dance the dance. A more favourable path awaits you.
Anxiety and fear. That’s the state I woke up in this morning. I have two weeks to find a new home and even though my guidance is advising me to relax and breathe, my mind is running riot with fear.
So instead of home searching or starting my work day – I procrastinated. I dithered. I found distractions. I looked for answers outside of me. I did everything BUT the thing I knew I would help me…
Having wasted several hours not achieving anything, I finally sat my butt on my chair and felt into my body.
Energy was moving upwards from my belly into my heart and was hitting what felt like an energetic wall at the top of my heart. Which explains not being able to communicate or action anything, the energy hasn’t been flowing freely.
As I tuned into my body, I asked “How can I release this?” and was shown a scene in my mind’s eye that I’d like to share with you:
I see an image of me in a dark box, I’m pushing up on the lid but its not budging. As I focus more on the scene, I’m now in the box and its actually an underground hole or cave. I instinctively know that I’ve been locked down here to face something. As I do a 180 turn in this cave I see a white rectangle on the opposite wall. It looks so light compared to the dark hole. I’m afraid of the light. Why?
As I explore this question in my mind and body, I realise that the light is my freedom and yet I’m stuck in this dark hole, trying and pushing with all my might to open a door up above.
The light is a gateway to a beautiful land. As I look closer, I see green grass and blue skies through this gate.
And yet I’m pining for something up above, someone or something. I want to go up there but I’m trapped down here. I’m all alone in the cave trying desperately to get out.
By walking towards the light I know deep down that I’ll not get back into my cave again, there’s no going back.
It’s the fear of stepping into the unknown, I don’t know anyone in the bright land and the energy feels very different.
A hand is beckoning me, calling me towards the light.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of my box, I’ll be stuck here if I don’t change anything. My two choices are to stay here and keeping pushing at something that’s not budging or I take a chance and step into the doorway of light. I cry as I know what I’ll be leaving behind, I’ve been safe in my cave even though its really a prison.
The doorway feels like hope, like there’s new possibilities as I take the step from the dark towards the light. Its scary, shaky, emotional. As I take a step, the ache in my heart lessons. So I take another step towards the gateway of light. I’ve got to step forward and free myself. I step through, into the light.
As I look back, my cave falls apart. The walls crumble, the cave fills in. There’s really no turning back now.
I can continue to look at the rubble and experience the disruption or I turn round and face the light and the new possibilities. I turn round and a beam of light appears from the sky.
“Follow the light my dear, it is guiding you” says a voice in my head.
My energy feels lighter as I check in with my body, my heart feels broken but is stitching itself back up again. My mind is running riot with fear but deep down inside I know, I’m ok.
* I share this today with you because I want you to consider if you’re pushing at a door that’s not budging when there is perhaps a big massive door of opportunity staring you right in the face.
You’ve been pushing, striving and energetically draining yourself because you’re focusing on something or someone that just isn’t right for you – and the Universe is keeping the lock on that door so that you turn round and look at the other possibility that’s presenting itself.
* I share this because I empathise with you. I know its scary. I know you want to stay with what’s familiar and I know that you don’t want to let go of what you’ve been striving so hard for.
But it’s not working anymore. It’s a thing of the past and you can continue fighting and struggling for what ‘was’, stay in your prison, or embrace the new possibility.
* I share this with you because I know letting go isn’t easy. Facing the unknown is scary especially when it’s a completely different energy to what you’re used to.
And yet the Universe is supporting you, guiding you. You’ve just got to be open to the guiding light. Looking out for the signs. It’s one small step at a time.
One of the Oracle Cards from this week’s Facebook Oracle Card Reading is ‘Movement‘ and it seems to be a popular message.
Move away from the thing that isn’t working, to the doorway that holds a key to your freedom.
If things aren’t working, if you feel you’re pushing too hard and are energetically drained, if you feel lost and confused, all alone – take a deep breath, imagine yourself turning away from the thing or person you’ve been striving or pining for, look around and see if there’s something or someone else that calls to you. It might not happen immediately, you might just get a sense of something different. The important thing is to check in with how you feel. Deep down, if you open up to new possibilities, you’ll know that something else (and possibly even better!) is out there.
This new path may challenge you to the core. It takes courage to face something new.
Think of the excitement and exhilaration of the new possibilities!
- Like the excitement of a first date.
- Your first day in a new job. Yep, scary but exciting!
- Walking into your new home for the first time – or perhaps being carried over the threshold ;)
- The buzz of a new idea ‘dropping in’ when you least expect it because you’ve let go of an old idea.
- Turning up to that dance class and feeling the sizzle of energy course through you as you take your first step.
- Walking off stage to rapturous applause to the mind-blowing speech you just gave.
A life lived fully isn’t lived only in safety.
Turning away from what ‘was’ isn’t easy but freedom, new experiences and opportunities are waiting to be discovered. To you, these new opportunities may seem to exist in the so-called ‘danger zone’ – a danger zone your ego and monkey mind has created. There is no true danger, it’s all an illusion. Follow your heart and trust that the Universe is guiding you. Please believe that you are ok, that things will work out in what’s best for you and that you can do it.
Join me. We can do this together.
My shoulder was playing up several days ago. My shoulder is my trigger. If it aches, then something is out of whack energetically and my shoulder shouts out in pain to get my attention.
Tuning in, I asked my shoulder to reveal the message to me – what did it want me to know or do?
Sitting in silence for a moment with my eyes closed, I waited for the answer and it came in the form of an image which I soon realised was a memory. It was a memory of me at three years old, sitting at a table with a colouring-in book and crayons. I was engrossed in my drawing, trying to block out emotions of people in another room. Extremely empathic as a young child, I picked up people’s emotions like a sponge.
Little three-year old me became suddenly distracted and my crayon went outside the line!! Oh no, my drawing was imperfect. I became upset and very angry at myself. I now wouldn’t get the approval of adults because I messed up. And in that moment I made a vow to myself that I needed to stay within the lines to avoid disappointment, anger and disapproval.
A ‘vow’ is an incredibly strong energy to break. This vow has been with me for most of my life – staying within the lines to feel safe and loved.
Things come to the light, to awareness, when we are ready to heal them. In order to break this vow, I have been working energetically with my angels to help clear it as well as focusing on inner child healing.
On reflection, I can see with a number of things how I’ve been staying within the lines recently:
I’m being called strongly to write and share. Yet to do this, I know I’ll likely have to go outside of my comfort zone and perhaps do things a little differently to what I’ve been doing. This childhood vow has been holding me back because if I go beyond the lines, ‘the norm’, then I envisage pain and disappointment, frustration and anger. I won’t be good enough or meet anyone’s approval.
On working on clearing this vow, I am now able to open up more energetically and can see that it’s ok to have fun and play with creativity. I’m doing it for me because I want to do it for me. In fact, it now hurts my heart if I imagine holding in my self-expression any longer. It wants out.
* A new home
I’m currently living in a gorgeous home with another beautiful soul who is on a similar healing journey to me. We’ve been immersed in our little healing cave for 9 months and both of us received guidance last week that it’s time to part ways, to move on to something new. I’ll admit that when I first received the guidance from my angels, I ignored it. I thought about all the upheaval, packing boxes, what if I didn’t find as nice a place, what ifs……so I decided to ignore the guidance and ‘stay within the lines’, in the comfort zone. And yet, deep down I knew I had outgrown the comfort zone. My new found energy was pushing beyond my self-imposed boundaries, wanting out, and my ego was keeping me in the cage.
Having worked on this vow energy I am now much more open to the idea and started my new home search yesterday. Yes there will be some upheaval but it needs to happen in order to welcome in the new. It’s now safe to remove the shackles I’ve placed around my ankles so I can step beyond the line.
* My business
Now this is going to be a big one to admit publicly but I want to be truthful. I have been one foot in the business and one foot out. My ego has planned an escape route in case things don’t work out. I’m incredibly lucky that the Universe is pushing me on this one, loving clients are coming my way and then are referring friends and family based on positive experiences with healings and readings. You’d think that this would be signal enough for me that this is what I’m supposed to be doing right now, yet I’ve been fighting it because it feels safer to stay small and hidden.
On clearing my childhood vow, I can see that I’ve been holding myself back, staying within the lines by having an escape route rather than opening fully to what I can share. I’ve committed this morning that I am now two feet in my business and I’m energetically open to using whatever gifts I have to help assist you in your soul journey.
Both platonic and romantic. I’ve been staying within the lines because I’ve been struggling with my identity. I’m changing energetically, shifting very fast, I’m revealing more of the true me and while this may seem somewhat foreign, it’s in fact very freeing in that I’m finally getting to be the real me. I’ve been afraid that people in my life won’t know or recognise this ‘new’ me so I’ve shut myself away. And as for a romantic relationship, as much as I want a romantic partner, it hasn’t felt right because I want to be sure of me first to attract a complimentary male energy.
As I clear this childhood vow, I’m incredibly nervous because it is a case of stepping out there again. I’ve got to trust that I am supported. That true friends will accept me as I really am and the man I wish to welcome into my life will recognise the authentic me.
Go Beyond The Lines
I hope that by sharing my experiences that you can pause for a moment and consider where you’ve been staying within the lines. You may not have a strong energetic vow hindering you but if you notice that you’re holding something back then now is a perfect opportunity to take a step outside or beyond the line and see where it takes you.
You may have noticed I’ve said the word ‘open’ many times in this post – it’s about being open, not closing yourself off to remain safe. What can you open up to today?
Often there are subconscious patterns that we’re not aware of. I wanted to share my story with you because small incidents in childhood or even past lives, can dramatically shape how we act today. You may have locked it away, unwilling to unearth the pain and yet this could be the key to finding your answers and freedom. If something in this post triggers you, ask now: What do I need to know right now that will help me break free of this barrier? Question and review any rules, restrictions or limiting beliefs that are placed around your situation (by you or by others). This can help lift blocks to the manifestation of your desires.
If you need some assistance in helping to see and move past the barriers, get in touch. We can explore it together.
Please also note, breaking free can be messy and difficult so be prepared for change. If you want something new, be open to change. Like a caterpillar emerging, you’ll evolve into the most amazing butterfly.