Things were going well, really well. I’d found the clarity I was searching for, I jumped back on the blog with gusto, received a lot of love and support. It all fell into place really easily.
I felt joy for a short space of time…..and then came the pain.
Three ‘pains’ really:
- A dull pain in my shoulder that has been there for a while now, escalated into excruciating pain – in which I ended up in bed for a few days, curled up in the fetal position, slumbering in sadness and grief.
- A headache from the overconsumption of information.
- A stomach pain, from metaphorically stabbing myself in the solar plexus, over and over. Constant self-punishment.
In surrender, down on my hand and knees, I asked (begged!) for some divine intervention.
And was guided shortly after to look at my bookshelf. Amongst all the various sizes and colours on the shelf, one small blue spine with orange writing stood out….. The Big Leap.
Of course! Without even picking out the book it became glaringly obvious what I had been doing. Classic Upper Limit Problem.
Basically, the premise of the The Big Leap (which I highly recommend reading or listening to this recent free recording), is that we all have a ‘Zone of Genius’ in which we operate at our true potential and experience happiness and fulfilment – and the barrier to reaching this Zone of Genius is our Upper Limit Problem (ULP).
Our ULP is potentially one to four of these fears or false beliefs:
- Feeling fundamentally flawed.
- Disloyalty and abandonment.
- Believing that more success is a bigger burden.
- The crime of outshining.
So to keep ourselves nice and safe and avoid facing these fears in our Zone of Genius, we upper limit ourselves, through: worry, criticism, blame, deflecting, squabbling, getting hurt or getting sick.
The author, Guy Hendricks’s twelve year old niece describes the Upper Limit Problem perfectly in the book:
Yep, now clear as day, I manifested pain when things felt good and easy – all to keep me in my safety zone and avoid my Zone of Genius where I could perhaps stand out and have to face my fears.
I’ll admit that I have three of the four fears/false beliefs above. I’ve known about these fears for some time – but you know when something is brought to your attention and you seem to ‘get it’ more this time as opposed to the other times? This was my ‘I get it’ moment.
So I am now committed.
“I commit to living in my Zone of Genius, now and forever.”
I commit to overcoming my fears and following my truth.
The irony hasn’t escaped me that my blog is called True Shining Self, and one of my biggest fears is the crime of outshining! I dull myself down. I avoid situations where I can be in my truth because I fear I will be ridiculed. I seek externally and look at what everyone else is doing – to fit in. All at the expense of myself.
No wonder I’m in physical pain. My soul is in crying out to me to get my attention. I’ve been listening but not following through on the action – all because of fear and past conditioning/programming.
I’m avoiding acting from my heart.
It’s safer in the confusion. Constantly seeking answers because it prevents me from doing the real work, the work that may cause abandonment, ridicule, judgement and criticism.
I love serendipitous moments, and I’ve been encountering quite a few since working with lunar intentions. My intention this lunar cycle is “I take guided action” – and what has transpired? I manifest pain in order to take me out of action, which in turn empowers me to correct this ‘inaction’ once and for all. To trust in my guidance and take action, to drop the control – despite fear!
How am I now taking guided action?
- I’m dropping all other reading, research and study and immersing myself in The Big Leap. I’m contemplating doing the new The Big Leap Experience online course in May (even if you’re not interested in the course, you can listen to the free April recording which has lots of juicy Big Leap info by registering here).
I strongly believe that once I accept the belief that things can be good, all of the time, a lot of my perceived problems and resistance will drop away.
- I will continue to work and mediate on my lunar intention “I take guided action”. Focused intentions really do work, even though it can bring up massive discomfort. But that’s the aim of the game – using supportive energy to enable breakthrough, despite the unpleasantness.
- And the big one, getting out of my head and into my heart. Feeling my way. (I’ll write more on this another time, I’m currently in the midst of creating a new habit. I’ll share what I’m learning once I feel a little more comfortable with the new habit – it’s very early days for this chronic ‘overthinker’!).
Sharing this post publicly is a commitment to myself: “Work on your Upper Limits Amy, please…..”
Do you believe that things can be good, all of the time?
If not, what’s your fear?
Are you criticising, blaming, worrying, deflecting, arguing, getting sick or are in pain?
Consider if you’re Upper Limiting Yourself to keep yourself safe…..